Hi all- small update.
So I told the therapist how I felt about this (email) and she basically emailed me back and said I'm really sorry. Then I felt kind of guilty because it seemed like I must have misunderstood the situation and she didn't mean to make me feel bad. So I apologized by email too.

Anyhow then we went back into session this week together. It was me, my boyfriend, and the therapist. She basically says our personalities are different and even what we want out of a relationship in the longterm are different. That was interesting and food for thought. Both of us have similar personalities; in Myers Briggs we are both INFP. But I guess she means background, wants and desires in relationships, etc. Anyhow that was discussed as a way to improve communication.

I still felt that maybe this therapist doesn't like me. This is a rough spot. I do like her, so there's this dynamic where it's like I feel somewhat rejected, but I do like her enough to feel like some of her suggestions are pretty good. (My boyfriend is happy as a clam but he said that I need to stand up to her more and he was glad that I did this session instead of just crying silently).

For example, when talking about our relationship and how I sometimes feel like my boyfriend is being hard on me or mean to me, she said, "hmm, is this a theme to you being betrayed?-- because you had the same reaction to me in your email, and you seem to have that to your boyfriend too." So I was like..... I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that. But I also tried to stand up for myself by explaining I don't generally feel people are betraying me.

Basically it was a hard session. I'm not used to therapy but I feel very bad inside right now.

My boyfriend and I are torn-- this therapist really does seem to be eager to help us-- she sat with us for nearly 1.5 hours, answered my email during her off time (and emailed me several times during the week) and even offered to be there for me on the phone. But I can't shake this feeling like this is a destabilizing situation.

We started counselling because I had a problem and needed to fix it-- now it seems we're in couples' counseling by default-- and I can't tell if that will really help.

The ultimate dirty secret I have is that I actually need counselling myself-- but I don't feel I deserve it and in a weird way, it's like this whole experience confirms it.

Anyhow, that was it.