Ok I have hit the angry stage of dealing with my upcoming divorce apparently. Husband called me yesterday and we wound up fighting. I tried to stay calm but he kept saying things that were just completely false. It occurred to me that he wasn't even hearing what he was saying. omg...

I ended the conversation before it got to yelling status but was so frustrated I had to send an email. I stated that what he said was completely wrong and not based in fact. I went down the list of things he said I never did and stated that, yes, I did do them.

That conversation got to me. I realized my heart was racing for the first time in weeks and that wasn't a good thing. He then replied back and said that the divorce was a good idea and he didn't want to have any contact with me except the divorce stuff. Ugh, I never tried to have any other contact with him! He's the one that was calling me late at night and crying and telling me how much he missed me.

Now I just wish I had never met him. I wish a hurricane would sweep him away. I wish he would get in a wreck in the car he so boldly drove away from me in. I wish all the friends and family that seem to think this is all my fault would just abandon him and leave him to think of what he's done.

I have tried to purge any memory of him from my life. If any item in the house was even half his I want it gone. No more! No more of him getting a say or being able to manipulate what I'm feeling.

I will never, ever let anyone get that close again. I am just as mad at myself for allowing myself to be so vulnerable and naive. What a fool I was.