I realized again today how truly socially awkward I am. I wish I knew how to talk to people. It seems to only get worse the older I get; I remember being much more outgoing and personable when I was younger even though I was still a little bit anxious around new people. I'm afraid this will never get better and that I will be one of those lonely old women with a hundred cats. I don't want to be a lonely old woman with a hundred cats. If I don't learn how to talk to people soon, I may not ever date anyone again, or make any new friends, and new jobs will become increasingly difficult. Part of it is that I don't feel like I'm worthy enough to talk to certain people (which is not rational, but it's how I feel so I clam up and get awkward), part of it is that I don't feel like I'm interesting (I'm not), part of it is that I feel like I don't have anything to say (I don't). I don't know what to do. I'm bored and lonely, and I look like a dork sitting all by myself when everyone is talking in a circle at work...