Two months ago I started a psychological diagnostic test to see if I DID and an examination of my personality. I've been five times. I had to fill in a lot of lists and got several interviews. My T is a psychiatrist and can diagnose but she decided that an independent person outside her practice would do the diagnostic tests. I know my T for three years, and she has often thought that I had DID, she never told me that. Only when we started with trauma therapy she talked about a form of dissociation that she wanted to find out if I had that.
When I heard that, I was very angry at her I told her she was crazy. She said she just wanted to be sure so she can offer the right therapy. Then we talked about sessions I sometimes could not remember. And that i always did my best to hide it, I always had excuses and because i did that she didnt confronted me because I was not ready for it. But when we began trauma therapy, I often began to dissociate. And the different parts that she had seen before came more outside. Now i know that i have parts but it is difficult to accept. They have always been there only were it problems then and not parts.

Today I have an appointment with my T and the woman who did the testing. I am afraid of the outcome and what it will mean for the therapy. But also for the appointment with two therapists I'm afraid my t will be different to me and that it changes our relationship.

It has become a long story but I had to vent!

Bloem