"I liked what Chris wrote about being okay asking for what she needs. Sometimes it's hard to tell what's a need though, but it seems like Chris understands her needs pretty clearly."

"I don't know if I could be so sure about what my "needs" are as Chris. "

Let me expound:

Understanding and actually advocating for what I need is something that has grown slowly for me. I've learned to know when I "need" time off so I can admit myself to the hospital and to be able to say directly that that is what I am doing without too much fear or shame about the matter. That's a huge step for me.

On a smaller scale, I'm learning to recognize aspects of my job that drove me into this last manic episode. I teach, and this year has been VERY goal driven (new goals in a new building with a new principal with brand new technology using new apps and new teaching methods, etc.). You get the idea. It was a combination "built" to set off my mania, and I never saw it coming. Being/feeling "driven" is one of my triggers for mania, and I went back to work realizing where things had gone so awry for me.

My biggest fear in returning to school is that my department/grade level had decided to put together this huge research project/paper/symposium, and I had great anxiety about going into that project feeling unprepared and uneasy about how the whole thing was going to work. I was anxious about it and I hadn't even started it yet. So, rather than do what I have done all year and plunge head first into the deep, dark waters of a project I was uncertain of, I advocated for myself. I told (not asked) my department chair and my principal that I was not going to take my students through the project because I didn't need that kind of stress in my life at this moment. I would meet my students' educational needs/objectives through other assignments that I was already familiar with and join them next year on the project after they've worked out all the kinks. They both agreed without hesitation, and I have been so relieved.

I don't think you have to throw your diagnosis around as some trump card, but what my T and pdoc have been teaching me is that I have to weigh my decisions against the effect they will have on my mental health, particularly with bipolar disorder. I'm learning to advocate for myself and finding most people are truly willing to hear me out and support my decisions.