My version of this is that at one point, I believed that if only my CSA perpetrator would apologize for what he did (as oppose to just acknowledge that it happened), then I would be healed from that experience. Then he died, and there was no more opportunity for him to apologize, and I had to give up my belief that an apology would magically have the power to transform my unresolved issues into resolved ones.

Realizing that I believed this, and that it wasn't true-- that nothing HE said or did had the power to heal me, and that I wasn't dependent on what HE did or said in order to move my life and myself forward, that did really heal me in important ways.

I think that it's natural to get into a pattern, when you've been hurt by others in the past, to feel like you must have *something* from another person in order to heal. I just don't think that's true, though. I think you can move forward in your life because you want to move forward in your life, and what you think you need from other people is a false obstacle in your way.