Dear T,

What to say, where to start? I want to be able to be more authentic with you but I'm still struggling to be ok with this type of relationship. Like I said last week - I don't understand how I can find myself so in need of meeting with you and I don't even really know you at all. I mean, I just met you and everything is so one-sided (as it should be) but still, T, I don't like it. I agree that I'm angry at you for being important to me and mad at myself for letting you be so important.

I'm sorry if I put you in impossible situations where anything you do isn't "right" I don't think I could stand watching you leave me behind because I'm so difficult but my defenses are strong. Please believe me that I'm doing the best I can and just need a little more time.

I'm also sorry that I didn't take your suggestion and showed how much I struggle to trust you. You aren't perfect, T, and I don't expect perfection. I am starting to trust you but it's still only *almost*...I hope you don't mind.