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I can give you some feedback regarding the narcotic pain meds issue. I take them and have done a lot of research.
Narcotic pain relievers now surpass all other drugs (incl heroin, cocaine, etc.) in overdose deaths. It's all over the news and there have been new regulations both at the state and federal levels.
Doctors these days are *very* loathe to prescribe them on an on-going basis, many outright refuse to. Amongst other things, they are afraid of government regulations and law suits due to misuse.
They will be more willing to prescribe anticonsulants that sometimes help with neuropathic pain (incl some types of back pain), such as Neurontin, and give epidural steroid injections.
Have you been to a specialized Pain Clinic, or only PCP's? If you haven't, I would recommend an evaluation at a Pain Clinic, they will know of all of the treatment options available.
FYI, many doctors these days require patients on chronic opioid therapy (long-term narcotic pain meds) to sign a contract stating that they will not sell it, will take it exactly as prescribed, submit to urine tests, will use only one pharmacy, etc. I heard from a friend of mine that his doctor made him sign one of these for his Xanax as well.
I had to sign such a contract, it's the policy of the pain clinic where I'm a patient. I take methadone (yes, for heroin addicts, also severe chronic pain) for a chronic pain condition due to a spinal cord injury. It works and with little side effects, it completely changed my life. But I wasn't prescribed it until I had tried (and failed on) *everything* else.
I hope this information is helpful. Again, I would recommend a full evaluation at a pain clinic. Consider different treatment options (those anticonvulsants do work for some people, as well as the injections, and the antidepressant Cymbalta also works for some), and try not to take personally the 'drug seeking' thing. Keep in mind, too, that the fact that a doctor refuses to prescribe doesn't necessarily mean that they think you're drug-seeking, only that they're scared as cr ** p to prescribe it/it's their policy not to for non-cancer pain, etc. Many doctors will refuse no matter what your history. I think you mentioned taking something for anxiety -as I say, some doctors are also becoming very reluctant to prescribe those.
Chronic pain can cause and seriously worsen depression and anxiety, as I'm sure you know. I hope you can get a therapist soon. And find a doctor who will work with you -as non-judgmentally as possible- to alleviate your pain. So sorry about this, and good luck.
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