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Old May 11, 2013, 01:44 PM
ultramar ultramar is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
[Some may be confused by this response, but for the record I'm basing it on many previous posts by the OP as well].

I think you've been struggling with this for a long time: wanting your therapist to love and want you romantically and trying to find any indication that this is the case in what he says and does.

I think you need to ask yourself if you can do the work and healing in therapy without him loving you in a kind of all-consuming, romantic way. If not, I think this will continue to be an issue.

Do you feel that you have made gains in therapy? If so, what are they? Are you interested in working on things you struggle with, or are you principally interested in having him reciprocate your in-love feelings? I don't know if you think this would be healing, but I think -in theory- in could be more healing for a therapist to be able to hear and experience these feelings towards him and not act on them (including not acting on them verbally).

In not telling you that he reciprocates your feelings, he is being a good therapist. Given the intensity of your feelings for him, telling you this I think would be destructive and I think there's a part of wanting him to reciprocate that is self-destructive in nature. But it also seems that you don't feel you can move on without him telling/showing you he loves you in the way you want. There seems to be an impasse.

Have you considered seeing another therapist?
Thanks for this!
crazycanbegood