Quote:
Originally Posted by Down the rabbit hole
I'm a bit confused if it's just me or if it's someone else, so I thought that I could write about it here to see if you have any thoughts on this.
I suspect that I'm feeling another alter's feelings - a little one (8, 10-ish?). The thing is, there are situations where I feel like I shouldn't react/feel the way I do (I'm in my later teens myself). Here are two examples, it happened a few weeks ago:
I was in a store with a family member. I found this children's book and I got really excited, I liked it very much. I don't know if it's me, but "I" sometimes love these childish things... walking in a store I randomly find something that I love. Today, I found a coloring book for kids, and it was just lovely. I can't say for sure that "I" am feeling this way, or if it's someone on the inside. I don't feel like me, like, really me (teen-me) would enjoy a coloring book, yet I just had to buy it?
I'm thinking that I can use it as a way of calming myself/others inside of me down, a way of distracting, you know. It just confuses me a little - I don't really get why I like these things so much? I mean, people in my age wouldn't jump up and down seeing a children's book (it was special though, those pictures were so nice-looking!) or a coloring book (that one was so cute!). Could it be that I'm just childish or could it be that I'm somehow feeling the feelings of another, little, alter?
As far as I know, I don't have a kid alter. It could be, not impossible, but I haven't got the feeling of having one in the same way as I've got with my persecutor or cognitive alter... but if I have a kid alter I can understand why it has been needed (I've blocked out plenty of time from the past, there are many parts in the past that are blurry or that are gone for me, that I can't remember).
Thanks for reading. Any thoughts on this that you'd like to share? I'm happy for any reply.
~ The host
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Here where I live and work (new York which is in the USA) we have two different types of what you are talking about....
the first one is completely normal...everyone has times when they feel, react like a child..this in psychology terms is called the child with in.
the second one is feeling like a child because of feeling like an alter/sharing the alters emotions, dissociated into an alter.
the distinction between the two here where I am is
in the first one a person feels like they are their self but they feel like they did when they were a child...liking the same things they did when they were a child, feel like throwing a temper tantrum like a child would, Jump for joy type exciting feelings like a child...
in the second the emotion is perceived to be someone elses emotions not their own....example sunny is happy, rainy is sad, red is angry....when I did on rare occasions feel their emotions it didnt feel like...I was happy...I was sad,....I was angry....it was very clearly thought of as Sunnys happiness, Rainys sadness and Red's anger...
another way to know the diffrerence is write out/journal and then reread what you have wrote...if its in the ...I...me....my....your own name statements then its the first one (the completely normal the child with in ) and if you have wrote in the second/third party view of ..using someone elses name....she....he....it...they... then its the second where a person is co conscious of an alters feelings...
mind you this is just how treatment providers here in my own location make this distinction between the normal feeling like a child vs sharing an alters feelings...
other locations may have other standards...
and like always only your own treatment providers can say which this is what this is in you....
my suggestion if this continues to bother you consult with your own treatment providers. they can help you discover what this is with in you.