I think it's imperative that you realize that not only are you protecting yourself and your children, but you are protecting your mother as well. Let me explain...your mother doesn't want her grandchildren remembering her this way (unstable, vindictive, etc.). Just because your mother "checked out fine" doesn't mean a thing. I am proud of you for holding your ground. You are being so strong. I know she's your mother and your children's grandmother and it hurts, and I am so sorry. Right now I am sending you a giant sized full of love mama hug and affirming you and your healthy choices. If you haven't read it, you should check out the book Boundaries (Townsend) and/or Erroneous Zones (Wayne Dyer...I think) and maybe send a copy to your mother. Amazon.com has used copies for cheap (fifty cents to a couple $s even!).

Keep doing the right thing. I wouldn't have much more contact than mailing photos of the kids and sending bday/holiday cards to your mother. Maybe no texting or emailing because it allows her to be reactive and impulsive in her responses. You've got to heal from what you've been through with her before you can move on to be in ANY kind of relationship with her...ask me how I know - Im still working on healing from a traumatic past with my mother so my children can have a relationship with her one day. Keep your children supervised at all times, even on the phone. It is not okay for her to speak against you to them.

Keep posting, we are here for you!!