Yes, it does seem like you fear that actually getting close to him, he will change into someone or something traumatic. For instance, raping you... a moment that is supposed to be good intimacy (sex) is traumatic instead. This fear may be why you didn't take your chance with him 7 months ago. The fear seems to be about his transformation into a guy who rapes you or has a creepy stare. Some of this may relate to your formative years, for instance how you related to your parents. Parents can feel nurturing at times and can feel angry or judgmental at times. I know for myself that left a difficult in trusting people.. will this seemingly caring person suddenly turn on me?

Can you say more about the personality of his girlfriend? and if she is nothing like him, why is he drawn to her? Any idea?

Mike