Im new to the sight and ive been going through a lot of crap and BPD matches up frighteningly well with how i am and i dont know if i do but it matches im 18 il be 19 in September but life keeps going down hill recently got a girl friend she said she was 15 and that she was in 9th grade which is high school so thats why i was ok with it then after we went on are first date she broke up with me after the date while i was walking her home then the next day i found out that she was 14 and that she lied to me this is just one of the things that's happened but i have thought about suicide quite extensively haven't attempted though ive done cutting and im nervous about getting help since ive enlisted in the marine corps which i did impulsively just for a better job selection, i want to get help yet i dont want to lose what ive set up im already cutting it close with school, i could really use some help with what i should do anything would be appreciated