If its not detracting too much from your discussion, might I say that your writing is lovely and I really enjoyed reading it. In fact I'm gonna save it in a document for rainy afternoons. I would definitely urge you to keep expressing yourself through writing or even trying to write a book.

That being said

It sounds like your world is falling apart. Literally changing in front of you. Nothing is what it is or was or what you thought it to be or even how you percieve it to be.

Don't get me started on mankind.

All I can say is: don't think too much about it. Let it be. It is. Just accept it lol. Real or unreal cannot (has not, yet) been proven. You're thinking so hard about it that it's unraveling before you I believe.

Don't think (too much), just live and keep moving forward!