Hi everyone. Just thought I'd share how I'm feeling.
It's been a wired week. Had my doc appointment this week and we've decided to only give my ADs another week to see if they kick in. On citalopram 30mg and having no effect whatsoever. Probably changing. Went to my first counselling appt which is free for 6 sessions through work and she told me that I was too depressed right now to be able to get anything out of therapy! So that's been put back a month to see if new Meds work first. Felt really dejected and down.

In amongst all that it was my birthday last Sunday. Saw all the family and got some great presents and some overwhelming love but its so hard to put on the smiley face when inside its so dark and heavy. It's my daughters birthday, yesterday actually, but everyone is coming round today and I'm anxious and know I will have to smile through it for her sake.

I'm finding it so hard to cope with the guilt. My partner, kids and family are all so loving and supportive. They don't push me and are just there for me. It's hard to try and seem ok for them. I wish I could just be happy and stop feeling so rubbish all the time.