For me the predominant feeling was shame. It completely overwhelmed me. I couldn't talk to anyone. I could barely leave my room. There was also huge paranoia because I was sure that everyone could see how shameful I was. Plus I was scared to death of a future full of this pain. Then I finally went to see a psychiatrist and learned that EVERY one of those feelings stemmed from depression and the wonky chemicals in my brain. He worked and worked for 2 years to find the right mix of medicine for me and now I'm sooo much better. I never had therapy but many people on this forum say that it helped them so much.
I guess what I'm saying is that you may not need to suffer so much. There may be an answer for you. I never would have been able to get over this by myself. I think it's very very difficult to do alone. Please find the energy to see someone or call a help line. There's hope.
Keep posting here and read others stories so you can know you're not alone
Good Luck