I know of nowhere that suicide is not taken seriously. Go to the doctor who prescribe your meds or to the local hospital if there is no crisis centre. Go somewhere; anywhere. I am religious; that ceased to matter one time. I nearly died from a suicide attempt, and nearly dying can be worse than dying if you end up maimed or left very ill as in my case. I think now of all the things too that I'd have missed out on if I had died--my children growing up, my daughter getting married, me getting re-married, maybe grandchildren one day. Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. We can't take suicidal ideation lightly. I agree you should get help now and not discount that advice so glibly or rationalize by saying there is a stigma where you live. Just go please. How awful we'd all feel if you didn't. You reached out to us, and we are reaching back. Take our hands and our help if you will. All the best to you, and don't apologize for feeling good and being away from PC for awhile. It's okay to have not needed us; we're glad you didn't in fact and sorry you are in a bad place. Hoping you'll be okay and having faith you will be.