My T went on a rather long vacation last summer, and will do so again this summer, so I think I can understand some of what you are feeling. One thing somebody here recommended to me last year was to think about the next time I would be seeing T if he'd been around, just one week ahead at a time, rather than about all the looming weeks ahead at once. And then if possible do something extra nice for yourself during the time you would have been with T.

I would also like to know how people raise the subject of geting a message to keep for when T is not there. I don't think it's something I would be able to ask for, but it would be interesting to know how it could be done.