I know this is completely normal. I mean what else is there to do if you completely ruined your ability to poo without them. But I mean seriously this is SO triggering for me. I want to overuse them so much. And my mind is chanting at me to just do it.

I'm so stressed out. And I can just feel it. I have this knowing feeling that I'm going to end up using them whether I really want to or not. But as of right now I really don't want to.

It's so frustrating. Hopefully if I get that feeling and it's really strong I'll have willpower...
Wish me luck.