Hi Rose. Thanks for asking. Actually I'm to doing so well today. I have been crying off and on all day and all night. This is the first Mother's Day I have had where I didn't talk or see my mom. I just feel like a terrible person. I know I gave the gifts to my dad to give to her and I sent her flowers but I didn't hear from her at all. I kind of didn't expect to but I just thought maybe she would surprise me
I spent the day keeping busy. We went for an early breakfast, and then went to see a movie. I haven't done that in a very long time. It was nice o get out but I was very uncomfortable. I actually was tying to keep it together for my kids. I knew my son wanted to be out and do things so I just sort of went along.
As we were driving I kept thinking how my mother must feel that I haven't called her. It made me feel like such a crappy person. I tried to get my husband to go over and see her today, I just asked if we could stop over. He said you could go, but I'm not. He said things will never be the same. Then of course I started to think about the resentment I have because he caused this argument. I had that feeling of wanting to take my kids and run away again.
My husband is so stubborn at times. I feel he has no compassion for me. I know things are not normal with my mom but I need to be the one to handle that.
I just have so much pain inside. I just ache. Maybe I need a good cry and some sleep. I just don't know what else to do.