Thanks everyone for the good advice. I dont know why I cant make the most logical fact inplanted in my brain. 'I can not drink if I want a good life'. I do know why, anything to justify the addiction of drinking alcohol. But even though I learned this and acknowledged it. I still believe I am different.

But for now I will continue to stay sober and I wont forget how I got my life back because I stopped drinking. Even though I never cared too much about how long I been sober, I really cant wait for my one year sobriety. That way I know I can be sober everyday of the year.