Wow Michael, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. You are going through alot but I have to say I am very proud of you for kicking the drugs. That is NOT an easy thing to do, so kudos to you!!
I'm sorry your girlfriend doesn't understand why you don't want her to dress the way she is dressing. She should take into consideration your feelings and then talk to you about it. Since you said she has cheated in the past, then she should know that it would bother you if she dressed a little daringly and went off with her girlfriend.
I hope your book will take off and I also hope your writers block will go away but I agree with you, I bet you are trying too hard.
Hey, there is no shame in fast food restaurants. A job, is a job!!
Wow, sounds like you have alot of surgeries in your future and I am sorry about that. I wish you could find a job that they carry insurance on their employees and then that would take some burden off of you.
Don't put yourself down, you sound like a very caring person. Just because you are down on your luck right now, everyone goes through that sooner or later. You aren't this way because you want to be, it's just the way things have gone lately.
There is alot of depression in your letter and I am sorry for that. I know depression very well. Just don't let yourself fall into such a dark hole that it's so hard to get out of.
Please know that you are a good person and you are not where you are at because you want to be there. I can tell in your post how desperate you are to change things. I hope you find a job and can get things turned around.
Good luck to you and to your girlfriend.
Sending lot's and lot's of hugs,

Linda