Moose, I think your sister does bother you; you virtually said so in the first part of this thread. It was something like "I had a nice visit with a friend and now this". It's your little child within that feels the brunt of your sister's presence and success in her life. Never stand in the shadow of your sister's life.

I know this is hard to accept, but it was a very helpful thing for me to learn years
ago when I was highly competitive and really didn't know that we can refuse to be
competitive and live very happily and it's quite all right not to be competitive.

It starts with never letting who or what somebody else is affect our judgment of ourselves. We have to know that what other people say or do is really a revelation of themselves more than it is anything else.

In fact, don't even judge yourself. Just evaluate who you are and live by your deepest principles. Doing so will enable you to be much happier in your life and you will find much greater success in your life in the long run. You are so intelligent; there's no reason for you not to succeed if you can just rid yourself of the idea that you somehow must compare yourself to your sister. Stand independently alone but be friendly with your sister. You really don't owe her the privilege of making you feel less than worthy.

I have an older one who really put the screws to me as a very young child, and I have spent a lifetime, almost, trying to overcome her influence. (I love her, but I don't like her--you know how it is.) Now we are good friends, but she knows better than to try the old childhood game of "you're not quite good enough, etc." What a crock!

Try to get interested in something like a career in photography. I know someone who started out with nothing and has a very successful career now in photography of children--which will always have a good market, in my view.

Take care, Moose. You're a very valuable person and your talent needs to come through with a career for you that you'd enjoy.