Thanks again everyone. I do agree that a big part of it is anger management. Both of his MH professionals are aware of this tendency, and hopefully in time it will be addressed head-on. He has a lot going on in terms of treatment right now.

I'm not forcing him to change. I'm just asking if it is worth holding onto any hope, or if I need to let go of this expectation because it aint gonna happen.

Rhap, I can't say that I cry or withdraw when my emotions get stirred, or that his tendency is typical of men more than it is women. I know plenty of women who react to stress the way he does. But yes, you're right that he doesn't know how to handle it. I think it's a combination of poor coping mechanism, maturity (maybe?), conditioning/upbringing, and maybe to some extent, brain chemistry. But I'm no therapist so I really don't have much place doing any kind of analysis on him -- just some observations.

I guess my real question is about whether this is something I need to learn to live with, or whether there is any possibility that he could ever overcome this reaction to his frustration?

Anyway, thanks all