Heh - this reminds me of something that happened while on our trip in Europe last month. We were in Italy and he was frustrated because we had neither a hotel reservation (a travel style that I'm comfortable with) nor did we know the city. He got really frustrated because he didn't have a clear idea of where to go or stay, and at one point started screaming at me while we were driving around looking for a hostel or hotel.

He doesn't speak Italian. I do. At a stop light, I told him that he needed to stop yelling and pull over so we could figure out a plan. He declined to do so. I was sick of being yelled at in situations like that, because it was frequent that we couldn't find an address or didn't have a reservation (I made some - he made none - I don't mind winging it but it freaks him out... so he should get involved in the reservation process if he is uncomfortable, IMO)

So, at the next stop light, I got out of the car and took my backpack. And started walking. There was a hostel in the neighborhood, so I asked for directions and walked there by myself.

A few hours later, I went back to where we had last seen each other, and he was still there. That was the last time he yelled at me during that trip.

It's not always that simple, and frankly, I don't want it ever to get to that extreme again. I want to be a team with him and I want to stick it out, even when things are going poorly. I didn't want to walk out on him, but I was really sick of being on the receiving end of his frustration. I'm willing to work on the process part of it with him, and already I have learned to compromise a LOT to accommodate his comfort level. The yelling thing is along the lines of a showstopper. In fact, when I first met him, I thought it WAS a showstopper, but for some odd reason, I broke my own rules when it comes to him. I do love him terribly, and I realize that he doesn't have a lot of control over it. A good friend of mine volunteers at a domestic violence survivor nonprofit and she said that they offer anger management training for offenders who are parents. It's not appropriate for his situation, but she's going to ask for some referrals. But again, he is dealing with a lot of change/improvement right now, so I think this is one that will have to wait a bit until life stabilizes in other areas.

Thanks guys