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It sounds to me that part of the problem are her bipolar episodes, and part of the problem are problems in relationship generally, potentially unrelated to the bipolar. I have a feeling that not all of this can be blamed on the bipolar. Her bipolar is a part of her, but not all of her, and I think it's important to keep in mind that she'll have characteristics -positive and negative- that are just her, quite apart from the disorder, just as you do.
As you've mentioned in some ways, you're aware that it takes two, and if there have been such intense problems for so long, both of you probably have some part in it and need to take some responsibility as part of the process of moving on.
I find this concerning: My wife has not acknowledged that anything that has happend to us were caused by her own behavior or that her behavior at least contributed to it
I just think it's important for both parties to admit their role in relationship difficulties. I don't know if you have directly to her or not.
Does she see a psychiatrist regularly? Is she on medication?
You've already tried couple's counseling, maybe it would be helpful for both of you to get into individual counseling. Both to figure out and deal with the original/core problems as well as the fallout.
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