You are correct, that was all along my biggest mistake- I blamed EVERYTHING on BP. Here is where it gets tricky: I like her the way she is. I don't mind the mood swings, I no longer react to them. Full blown manic episodes are not ok, I have seen how dangerous they are, during the last one we both could have gotten killed-it was that bad. (She was driving...I was in the passenger seat.)
She is an amazing woman- I want her to see me as her partner, a resource, a friend-someone she can trust. I have been trying to get her back into counseling ever since we stopped. Our counselor used phrases like "Could you at least consider the possibility that your husband meant something other than to hurt you during (any random) event?"- the answer was always "No." Granted our counselor was not that great--after my first "one-on-one" session she told me that she did not see any evidence of my wife having bipolar. I thought--great-- so we are just a normal dysfunctional couple.. a few month later my wife thought she had been visited by aliens and tried to jump out of a car window at 60 MPH. I am seeing a counselor, am taking an anti depressent and anti anxiety meds since we split. I knew that I could only change what I do. I am just trying to get through to her now. Thanks for the reply!!!