I made another appointment with the pDoc this morning.



The drugs are *not* working & I miss the mania, minus the insomnia part. Ok and totally "Mom's nuts part". Mostly I think due to lack of sleep.

I rest my head now and the thoughts won't shut down. My mind won't shut the F up. Anxiety drugs - may as well be M&M's.

But I also scared he'll put me on something stronger like lithium - dONT want. Reading is my passion. I'm thinking Visitril for sleep, Xanax day. We'll see what he says.

I've been in bed for almost 2 months straight except when I have to get up & function. And I can do it. Function. kid to school, events, etc. Beds just safe & cozy. i read a lot and I don't think about my worries until my head hits the pillow. I thought it would be easier with my son not here, but I'm not better

Narc me out too. No joke. I already know I'm a people pleaser and it usually gets me walked or stomped on.