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Old May 14, 2013, 09:51 AM
ImaG33k ImaG33k is offline
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Member Since: May 2013
Posts: 5
I'm definitely worried about her not being satisfied with me. I'm extremely insecure. I think this is a product of having an abusive spouse for 15 years. And I can see some jealousy there I suppose. What guy doesn't want to have a lot of crazy sex stories? I can count my partners on a single hand. I married the first woman that let me have sex more than once and I'm engaged to the second.
I don't think I'm judging, I'm not angry at her or anything, I'm crazy about her. I think it's just the thought of anyone else turns my stomach. My brain seems to be selective in this though because sometimes the stories are pretty good and I just think "Man I want you to open that can of crazy on me" I know thats perverted and I'm sorry. I've never been a real sexual person. It was never fun, or about me, or enjoyable. With my fiance it's amazing. I feel connected, alive and comfortable and it just makes me want it more.
I don't make a big deal out of it or anything when the past comes up. I just silently cringe. At first I would change the subject or just do something else, I've gotten to where I will ask questions and it actually seems to help some.
I wish I could tell you that I will just let it go and bury it in the yard or something. I can tell you I've never made her feel bad about it and I never will. It's certainly her past and helped shape the amazing woman I love adore and appreciate so much. I think you are probably right in that this isn't about her and her past it's more about my own insecurity. How can I work on that? I know I'm a good man, a good father to my son and I love her son like he's my own, but I constantly worry if I'm enough.