Music is a trap for me. I have always liked music, but starting in my early teens, any music I like is potentially dangerous. It may be because most of my life has been immersed in depression, suicide attempts and the like and the songs just bring all that back. They aren't songs that you would think of as triggers. No heavy metal, angry music. More light rock or progressive rock, though some classical can do the same thing.

I no longer turn the radio on in my car when I am driving. All it takes is one song and the trouble starts. The last time I turned it on, I wound up driving for several hours, getting lost and trying to keep myself from purposely running my car into a tree. This last song from the commercial was Island in the Sun by Wheezer, which came out in 2001. There is nothing negative about the song. Its not the words, its the sound. In the past, hearing a song has not only caused a cross in the line between depression and suicidal feelings, but triggered more than one attempt. The effect is immediate and unbelievably powerful.

Music in itself is a wonderful thing. It has the power the power to bring hope, make people happy and express feelings. Why it is so dark for me isn't something I'm able to pinpoint, but knowing what it does, keeps me from playing it. The whole issue is odd, because its only the songs that I like that cause the problems. If I don't like a song, i wouldn't listen to it anyway. In highschool, I played in the orchestra, and can remember peices that made my hair stand on end.

I'm glad you are able to choose songs that don't hurt you. Music is a gift, whether its the person playing it, or the one listening to a song they enjoy. Overall, I think it rates up there with smells as triggering memories of powerful feelings connected to events we don't even remember.

Sam2