I feel depressed this afternoon. I think about how some people are going through much worse than I could imagine and I think about how short life can be for some. I have a mother who is being so selfish and childlike. Why can't she think about how life is so short?
I have healthy children that ask for her almost everyday, doesn't she miss them? Doesn't she feel blessed? It's just always going to be all about her. I have to realize that she will never come to me. That all my life I was used by the one person I thought I could trust in this world. I know I keep singing the same tune. I just can't move past it all.
I also just want to take a moment and thank all of you who have read through my craziness and have responded with kind thoughts. I am so relieved I have a place to come where I feel safe enough to discuss these issues. I know it's been only several weeks but it has helped me quite a bit.