I don't have children, but I totally understand the feeling. I hate it too!! Hating myself and wanting so badly to end it all are against my nature. I hate who I am but I have so little control over it.

Hugs to you Blue!!! Just know you are not struggling this way alone girl.

I hope the Seroquel works for you. Obviously too much for me. That was practically a coma for me. I slept ALL the time. Even when awake, I was kind of asleep. That was a scary drug that I wanted off of but doc wouldn't, just kept increasing the dosage. So I ran, no drugs, no help, just me, until the crash again. UGH! I so hate me. OK I'm off my pitty pot now, this is about you not me. Maybe I'm too overwhelmed now to be supportive even though I want to be.