I had to work Friday night and most of Saturday, so am sleeping in today. I was up early but then read the paper and went back to bed, whereupon I had this dream.

The thing that sticks out about it the most is that my sister was trying to explain my mom's behavior, telling me she was depressed, and cutting. I don't doubt my mom's depressed, but *I'm* the cutter, and *I'm* the one who's done years of therapy. My mom needs therapy worse than anyone I know, but she thinks they're all quacks and won't go. She goes to a GP who just throws meds at her to shut her up and leaves it at that.

Anyway, pretty soon most of the family was trying to defend my mom to me and trying to make me feel sorry for her. I told them that I refused to feel sorry for her and that she needed therapy and I wasn't going to have anything to do with her till she did that. That is exactly how I feel, but would never actually say so!

Unfortunately, dreaming of cutting, even of somebody indirectly telling me somebody else was doing it, made me wake up wanting to really bad. It also made me wake up angry, which I especially hate. It took me a long, long time to learn how to deal appropriately with anger, and sometimes I am still not so good at it.

Just venting, I guess -- thanks for listening

Candy