I am in my early thirties and have struggled against the fear (yet inevitability) of severe depressive episodes as far back as I can remember. I am in the depths of another one. They are really damaging to ones health, wellbeing, appearance, social relationships, everything. While I'm only in my early thirties I feel (and probably look) like a hunch-shouldered old man.

I seem to exist between states of high(er)-functioning mild depression and low-functioning major depressive episodes. There are black holes in my life that have been swallowed up by depression. Just as I think I've finally put the whole mess behind me, another event visits itself on me. I exist in a fog, I feel separated from other people. While this time may be less severe and anxiety-ridden than the others, it's still incredibly difficult to get through a day. I have undergone therapy, I know the causes and triggers - yet never quite seem to be able to anticipate it or alleviate the symptoms.