Dark Heart...I don't know you or your situation well enough to comment on your feelings but I can tell you about mine... I get down and when I do, I get confused. Friends sometimes don't feel like friends anymore. And I spiral into negativity that seems to feed those feelings and keep me confused. I usually feel worthless and empty as well which makes it hard for me to filter out reality. I have totally felt like life was slipping through my fingers. Then the tide changes and things are ok again.

It seems like you are having a really rough time and I hope that being down passes fast. I hope the metaphorical midnight has past and dawn is just around the corner...hang tight. (((hugs)))