I found that the issue with assistance from the system, is that if legally married, they consider the income of the spouse. Is that, your trouble with the system, now?
Another thing, can you set up a payment plan with the electric company? I've done it before, what they can do, is extend the payments over a two year period, provided that you make the monthly payments on time each and every month. I set up for auto-pay through my bank to get that accomplished.
And, I sooo hear you about those, that would say that you didn't try everything possible to make the marriage work. How invalidating to your personal experience, is that?
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Originally Posted by Diversion
I want to preface this as saying I am just ranting. I am certainly not blaming anyone on this site of anything and am not angry at anyone here.
That being said :
You hear people all the time saying "if you are in a bad or abusive relationship you should get out at any cost". Well I've been in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship for 7years and was married for 5 and now that I am finally trying to imagine leaving it I find myself in dire straights.
No one is offering to help me. My own family seems to think all I need is verbal reaffirmations and a pat on the back now and then.
My husband left and took the car and cell phone. I've had to beg for help to get places to try to find a new place to live because I can't afford to stay in the rundown place I"m in now.
I got my electric bill and it was almost half my income. The local help center told me to bring it in when it was due then told me today that they have no more money to help anyone.
I've had to get everything changed into my name, and will be paying for transfer fees if and when I get my new place.
No one seems to realize that the way the system is set up is horrible for people like me. My credit has been destroyed through years of his compulsiveness and bad decision making. And no one wants to hear that it was someone else's fault.
Yes, I could have left before it got really bad. But what would that say about me as a wife? I wouldn't have been trying to save a marriage. I would have been ducking and running to save my own hide.
Now I am punished for trying to make it work with a man who is clearly mentally unstable. Do I get to be punished and be homeless and end up dead because I chose to love this man?
Think twice is all I'm saying. Before you go telling someone that they should leave , think about what you would be willing to do for that person to see that they don't end up in the gutter after they go.
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