This all feels like what I call "emotional vampirism." I, too, run as fast as my little feet will take me in the other direction. What feels icky to me about this--and I don't think either of my parents were like this--is that such behavior seems weirdly narcissistic to me, perhaps in the insistance of their needs (and so boundary violations). It's all about the need, even as they profess their admiration, etc, for you. I've experienced the feeling of being invisible in the face of this behavior. It's very objectifying, so if it came from a parent, it could feel very demeaning. Sometimes it has shown itself as passive aggressiveness, too, if I choose to disengage, or not engage at all. I suspect it is the need acted out to replace the underlying emptiness and lack of self.