i hate the fact that somedays i'm fine and others i'm right back where i started. It's not fair. I'm doing everything i know how to do to treat this. To end it once and for all, but the medication just isn't enough. The worst thing is i hate taking the medication. It makes me feel weak, bot physically but emotionally. I hate the fact that i have to take a pill everyday just to feel "normal" I hate it all. Cause while somedays i'm just fine, others i feel like this. At leas t before i was always like this. So when i hit rock bottom it wasn't such a low. I was use to it. Now being so low after being so high just hurts. I'm tired of this. Tired of fighting everyday to get out of bed. Tired of being scared. Tired of hiding away from the world in general. Why am i like this? I have a good family now, a normal life. Yet i hold on to all the things that are long over, but yet still hurt. Most of the things that hurt are the stupid decisions that i have made in my life. Their the ones that i can't forget about.