Buspar has been used successfully for some for anxiety - not a benzo but it's indication is for anxiety.

I was on benzo three times daily and tapered myself to taking it only at bedtime. I now take magnesium (over the counter) in the day for anxiety. It works great for me - I wish I had known about it years ago.

The thing that has helped me the most is a support group (I go to CoDependents Anonymous) and in the past, therapy.

Keep seeking - that is key.