Hi everyone,

My mother beat nasopharyngeal cancer 6 years ago and was doing great… the cancer was gone and she felt wonderful. However 2 years ago she woke up one day almost completely disabled and not one doctor can give her a reason why. She’s dizzy, nauseated, and can’t take a few steps without falling. She’s had every system in her body tested and the doctors are stumped… they are blaming it on side effects of the radiation done to her brain and say they can’t fix her.

Since this happened she has lost all her independence. She’s only 65 and feels/acts like she’s 90. She can no longer drive and can’t take a shower unless someone is home. She’s dizzy and sick all the time and will vomit for no reason. She has terrible memory loss and constant confusion. She is starting to lose bladder and bowel control. She’s fallen several times and we had to call paramedics to get her up. The list of problems just goes on and on. Obviously she is extremely depressed and feels like a burden. This is causing her to be mean and nasty to everyone (especially those closest to her like me and my dad) and she is slowly alienating all her friends and family. Nobody wants to call or visit anymore because of her attitude and everyone feels terribly guilty about it. She sits in front of the tv all day and watches old reruns of shows from the 60’s and has nothing to talk about when people DO come over or call. She also refuses to go to counseling or get a nurse/caretaker to come over. Nothing satisfies her or makes her happy. If you give her A she wants B. If you give her B she wants A. Doesn’t matter what it is.

I’m 42 and have no siblings or other family to help me. My dad is struggling to keep his sanity because he has to do almost everything for her and she screams at him 24/7 for every little thing. We are at a loss of what to do and are not handling this very well. I’ve struggled with depression my whole life but this is really one of the worst things I’ve ever dealt with. My mom used to be this hilarious fun-loving person that had tons of friends and everyone enjoyed being around, and now nobody even wants to call her. My dad told me at one point he wanted to just get in the car and leave forever but he just couldn’t do it. I cry almost every day because of this. I hate to see my parents so unhappy especially since they have always been so wonderful to me.

I had a severe foot injury a few years ago and was in horrible pain for months. I was extremely nasty and crabby to everyone because of it, so I somewhat understand what my mom is going through. Being sick and miserable is NOT a good quality of life. I however, had my problem fixed with surgery. There is no fix in sight for her problem and that’s what’s bothering her.

Thanks for listening.