Quote:
Originally Posted by MdngtRain
Claritytoo, I do not carry a DID diagnosis, just a history of severe dissociation. There is no one else to ask about the stuff out if my awareness... sometimes i wish i did so i could have some better idea what is going on.
I ended up taking to my t tonight, and he made me feel better about what is going on. I still don't think i was describing it correctly, but i think he got some of what i was saying. We were able to come up with the description of dissociation, but to the other side of the *wall* - being on the side that is determined to stay alive and not in the side determined to self-destruct. We came up with a safety plan, and were able to talk about it. That was a huge step for me, since the last time we talked about it, the concept triggered dissociation.
I still feel a little worried about how things are going in my head, but at least he knows my fears. I also have a set of instructions to follow should anything come up to compromise my safety. I still feel like there's heavy-duty stuff going on...
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Im glad you were able to get in touch with your T and work things out a bit.. and you now have a safety plan and instructions to follow...I too have a safety plan in place. now that I dont have alters that can take control when things get rough in my head its up to me to keep myself safe..
one of the hardest things for normal (non DID people) is to have to handle everything on their own. I have even encountered people who wished to be DID so that they would not have to handle the hard stuff in their life..
one thing that helps me is knowing that dissociation (no matter to what extreme) is a completely normal reaction to stress, confusion, pain and other issues on the positive and negative side of things..
so when I find that I am dissociating to the non DID extreme like spacing off, feeling numb, out of touch with whats going on in my mind/body or around me, I stop what Im doing. Take time to breath some deep breaths, smell the roses (or what ever other aromatic objects/smells are nearby) I even keep scented candles and fresh fruit on hand to help me get grounded (back in touch with my mind/body and surroundings. Another thing I do is get physical, as soon as I can I walk down to the shore and row my canoe around the lake and focus on how my muscles feel, the nature sounds and sights. Then when Im feeling less overwhelmed I walk myself through the problem that triggered the dissociative episode one step at a time.
great job of keeping yourself safe and following your treatment plans.
