Bless your heart I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. You really need some help.

Is there any way you can get into therapy? That would be the ideal thing to do. Therapy can really help with depression, which is really what you have.

If you can't get into therapy, PLEASE see your medical doctor! He can help by putting you on an antidepressant. Yes, I know -- most people don't want to take medication. But antidepressants DO NOT change "who" we are and do NOT make you "loopy." They just replace the chemicals & hormones that are LACKING at the time, that keep us from getting depressed! They aren't working or else you don't have them. So the antidepressant replaces them.

I've been depressed since I was about 4-5 yrs old. I didn't get treatment until I was in my 20's. I'm 64 now, and have been on antidepressants ever since my 20's!!! I'll be on them til I die -- cause I have clinical depression. That's where the chemicals & hormones in the brain just aren't there!

So please see your doctor -- he'll either refer you to a therapist or put you on medication. God bless and PLEASE let us know what happens, ok? I wish you all the best. Hugs, Lee