Wow! It's scary how close this subject hits home for me...I have been where you are, I used to get so angry over porn, feeling the same way - "why would you do that to me" had to come out of my mouth at least once a month or looking in the mirror just knowing I can never be "that kind of girl" ...BUT after growing up a bit and a little life experience ..trust me when I say what you are doing to yourself is much worse...and the women on the screen are nothing more than a prop. 1/2 the time a guy won't even be able to tell you what she even looked like ..lol! But if you keep acting out , of course you will keep being a turn off to him. Instead try acting in the bed room give him that fantasy , he should love it ! Give him a taste of what he is missing...good luck!