Thread: Crashing
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Old May 15, 2013, 04:13 PM
faerie_moon_x's Avatar
faerie_moon_x faerie_moon_x is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2011
Location: I live in my head. :P
Posts: 6,358
I have done a lot of work with reality checking in the past year. It's not easy. I feel this strong urge that people are not just talking behind my back, but being viciously mean to me. And like spreading horrible rumors about me to a lot of people. That it's a long term thing that's been going on and that people are laughing at me and my "ignorance" that I'm just a big joke to them. It's a wide spread problem over lots of people I know, including family members, co-workers, friends...

I am trying to talk myself out of it. I keep telling myself this is a common thing for me to start thinking, it always ends up to be not true. It's like wrestling in my brain. One side saying "how do you know it was never true, they could just be good at hiding it." Strong urges to like learn how to hack into things so I can read e-mails, listen to conversations, etc. etc. This huge drive to find proof. While the reality checking me is saying "No, it's not true. All the times you do stupid stuff like look through e-mails you don't find anything." And then the other side is like "Oh, but maybe they just are smart and delete things."

It's like angel and devil on my shoulder.... It drives me crazy. I have no reason to be feeling this right now. The whole reasonI joined twitter 2 years ago was because of this type of stupid crap.... >.<
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