Hmm. What an interesting discussion :-)

Regarding sex drive what I wonder is... What did they do *before* the relationship when they got that urge? Masterbated most probably or learned to think of other things... Why can't they do that once they are *in* a relationship? Sex isn't supposed to be about having a masterbation aid to the best of my knowledge (unless both decide that would be nice)... I thought the notion was that it is an activity to be performed between two *consentual* partners and I'll admit that I really do have significant issues with people who think it is perfectly okay for them to have sex with (or perhaps I should say *at*) someone when they know full well that the person isn't willing.

What is the sex like when you are in the mood?

Is your partner considerate about your having a nice time or does your partner think sex is all about the guy thrusting until he comes (sorry if that is a bit graphic for people) but I'm serious here... Maybe the problem is a bit greater than just frequency. I mean... I masterbate daily fairly much but in a relationship... Sex takes a lot of time and effort... Unless your idea of sex is the graphic part I already said... Maybe it is about fostering quality rather than quantity... When he wants quantity then he can take things into his own hands...

> ...rather that he is HURT when she says NO....... for saying NO to any ones partner when they are wanting to be sexual (male or female) is like saying NO to them the PERSON (feelings, needs & all), and we all know all to well that NO can HURT and hurt DEEP.

Yes... But does that mean that one should never say 'no' to ones partner? Does it hurt you that he is happy to have sex with you when he knows (surely he must be able to tell) that you really aren't in the mood? That would hurt me... Weighing hurts can be hard... I think relationships are about comprimise... There are sexual activities that can be done without penetration too... There are alternatives... And there are alternatives to feeling close and connected such as... Massage...