Perhaps so Leed.

I remember one time my father mentioned to me that, he would never understand the "sibling love" between my one sister and I. She would be so cruel to me, and I would still give her what I could.
He mentioned he did not have that connection as a child, and as an adult, he never would understand it... why and how I could love someone so mean to me like that.

My dad was born with fetal alcohol syndrome, he had a rough childhood in some ways with what had been said to him (he was born late 40's, he was told over and over he was retarded, no good at school-- but hey he went to college ). He was very much a drinker himself as well, well into his adult age. Then his diabetes started to really kick in and taking over his health. He still would at times go on binges even in his 40's and 50's.. By his late 50's early 60's he was blind, kidney failure and several sever health issues... He never knew his parents really....

"that connection" I underlined... I will always believe his drinking and disconnect from his family, was due to he was not sure how to do that exactly; a lot of his underlining issues that unfortunately us kids had to take a blow from once in awhile from him, weather physical or emotional. Though He had tried and did grow as he got older, and as I got older I saw that.

Though my father may had been an alcoholic, and he had left a lot in my life time and came back, and maybe not the best dad of the year with a lot of broken promises, as I got older, and he too- some times we would talk about things like this even, about how he was not sure how to love his kids, he never had that from his parents, and while his Grandparents loved him- it was still not that connection as some have... I suppose i was a little different than his other kids, or perhaps he wanted to sit down with at least one and I was the last? Who knows. There is a quite a gap with me and my oldest sibling.

It is something to think on some times... Doesn't make some things "right" , or a lot of things "right"; but it gives a little understanding if we can be able to step outside of ourselves and see more of the bigger picture

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