Hi, shelterdog. Mainly, I just want to express support for you. As I know first hand, being a caregiver becomes draining. Your mother not wanting to have some sort of professional home care puts everything on your father and you. Maybe, eventually, your mom will listen to reason and accept some help in the home. It would be better for her to develop relationships with some other caregivers before she further deteriorates.

It is a very unhappy situation, I'm sure.