Right now I honestly feel like everyone thinks I'm making up the pain I feel. I get through the day in a lot of pain. I still get through the day somehow. I don't get any credit for how hard it is for me. I guess it's not really that hard and I'm just weak willed.

My daughter tried to cut herself the other day and told us yesterday. I stayed home from work to be able to hang out with her (she's 13) after her short day of school. I don't think she'll do it again, but we have to keep our knives hidden and medication in a lock box.

I just asked for a week off from work and I'm feeling guilty about it. I will end up having to take 2 days unpaid during the week off, but I figure I should try to get a week where I'm not miserable all the time. Now I have to face people at work still and I can't. I hate them all. They all like working and even come in to stay late. I hate them all and want to yell at them. They make me sick to look at them. But I will fake it somehow. A week off won't help much I don't think, but I have no choice. I'm the only one making money, so if I can't get through work, we will lose everything. Nobody cares about my feelings because everyone else can cope just fine. I hate everyone right now.