Got out of the hospital yesterday, after a 5 day stay, cause I went a bit psychotic. One of the stipulations was that I'm to go to a day program. They said it's going to be 3 days a week, but I am so worried about not being able to work. I really can't go on Mondays b/c that's payroll day, and I'm afraid they're going to want me to start on Monday. I already have an appt set up with the pnurse at my pdoc's office on Monday at 3:15, so I'm going to have to work through lunch to get the payroll done.

My husband says I shouldn't worry about work. If I lose my job, it would still be ok, but all my self worth is wrapped into working. I've always worked, until my episode in 2010. Then I didn't work for 2 years, and I was so depressed about it, even though I couldn't work. I was feeling better since I got a job last June, up until recently, where I've been under a lot of stress. I put the stress on myself, since there really is hardly any stress. I don't know how to fix that for myself, so I'm hoping I can get some insight to my excessive worrying and perfectionism, when I go to the program. They work a lot on self esteem and self worth, so I'm kinda looking forward to that.

I just really don't know what to do, if they want me to start on Monday. I really don't want to lose my job again b/c of the bipolar.