Quote:
Originally Posted by Fox
So I hadn't posted here in ages.. . . months. . .probably even a year. ..
I'm posting right now though. . .because I want to know something. Am I the only one with a clinician who is going to help them integrate? I ask this because I started last week to blog online. I blogged with excitement over the prospect. It was received though with a lot of anger from other DID people and their systems. They through out a lot of accusations against me which were pure assumptions with no founding. It really upset my system. I talked to my psychologist about it. I had mentioned before that other people with my illness who aren't trying to get better - whether it's integration or finding a way to work with their personal system so as to function successfully out there in the world to reach their own personal potentials - really upsets me and quite a few inside. It upsets us because we compare some of that thinking to someone trying to get in shape but then someone who struggles with their health themselves insists they stop exercising and join them on the couch with a box of donuts. It doesn't help anyone and that person who reached out for support got the exact opposite.
So. . . anyone else trying to combat dissociation and stay present in their day so long as they're staying safe? My goal is to eliminate dissociating completely someday - that's my ultimate long term goal and won't be happening till I establish a strong foundation. I also wouldn't be going for this goal if I didn't change my circumstances. A few years ago it wasn't safe for me so I had to be protected by my alters. Now though I'm not faced with dangers in daily life. So switching has just become a habit that I need to break. For me personally it makes it hard to function as it interferes with my daily needs. I don't have co-consciousness except a few limited times in my past. . .so yeah I think even if I can establish co-consciousness it'll be a huge success.
It's okay if you're wanting to continue being DID and if that works for you. . .but for me. . .I can't live like this.
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your post says it upsets you when you encounter people who say they do not want to heal do not want to integrate....
let me ask you a question....
think about someone special in your life...do they like the same things you do, do they do the same things you do, do they wear exactly the same clothes you do?
my point is everyone is different...even our best friend, acquaintances and strangers...every human being has something that is different. human beings dont even share the same set of finger prints...because human beings are so different its normal for people to have their own thoughts, likes, dislikes...even when it comes to their own health issues and whether they want to get better or not, integrate or not, take medicine or not, whether or not they want to follow this treatment plan, that treatment plan or no treatment plan...
every human being has their own way of understanding their dissociative disorder and what paths they follow...
for me integration automatically happened as I worked out my problems.. the big bang you are integrated with the help of a therapist wasnt something my treatment providers and I worked to do. I have been in therapy on and off pretty much my whole life. the result was I met many treatment providers who had me on many different treatment paths, most of those treatment paths was working on my problem areas not on my dissociative issues like integrating my alters. Frankly you would have hated the treatment paths that some of my treatment providers took with me simply because my cultural background doesnt focus on things like diagnosis, treating the disorder, integration.. it focuses instead on treating problem areas/issues. focuses on the host not the alters....solve the problem and every thing else will fall into place...
my culture believes integration is the literal definition of the word ...taking in, processing, intermingling of people, places and things....
example...
sitting out in the woods, watching nature, letting your brain learn about nature, interacting with nature...
another example ....
a party..has many people of many different races, way of thinking, way of mingling and having conversations..
another example
having a nightmare...letting yourself think about that nightmare, trying to learn more about that nightmare, sitting with the feelings that the nightmare brings you to feel instead of pushing those feelings away...
another example
talking with a therapist about a problem any problem, working out that problem by letting yourself feel and learn about that problem, trying solutions to that problem until the problem is solved.
how do all these translate / are relevant to DID....
in my culture integration isnt totally about alters and host becoming one. its about learning you have a dissociation problem, learning what that dissociation problem is, letting yourself feel when you are dissociating, connecting to people places and things around you to help you become more grounded, acknowledging you feel numb, and other dissociative problems. knowing the alters are there and accepting they have their own jobs, purposes, reasons for being just like the host has their own way of being so does the alters., working on your problems whether they are related to having DID or work or what ever else there is...
in short my culture believes everything is connected and integration is the how therapeutic process/thin king process about everything whether its nature, depression, bipolar,dissociative...
we also have the belief that everyone chooses their own paths, some can choose the path of the good son (positive paths in their life) or they can choose the path of the bad son (the path that causes negativity in their life and the life of others.) Nature (including human beings) are full of positive and negative paths and they must choose for their self which path they want to follow or not follow either path, until they are ready to choose the path.
you cant control others and other peoples healing paths. all you can do is control where your own healing path takes you. Have trust that others are doing what they feel is best for them at this moment and do whats best for you.